


confronting his demon

by Ashfen



Series: Scared of Running but Terrified of Staying [6]
Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Akihiko is a strong boy who I'd gladly let kill me, Angst, Gen, Kaede gets what he fuckin deserves, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Relationships, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29110233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashfen/pseuds/Ashfen
Summary: Running won't help anymore.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki, Nakayama Haruki/original male character (past)
Series: Scared of Running but Terrified of Staying [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136237
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	confronting his demon

_"Hey."_  
The voice sent chills down his spine, and horrible terror.  
Haruki walked faster. He was meeting up with Akihiko. If he could just get that far –  
_"Don't just ignore me, Haru."_  
The honey blonde kept his head down, pressing onwards until he was suddenly grabbed by the arm, yanked violently into an alleyway.  
_"Don't you ever listen? Or do you just like to get hurt?"_  
Even as he was shoved against a wall, Haruki refused to meet _his_ gaze. He couldn't look at _him_ , he couldn't see _his_ face or else he'd freeze up and he'd be under _his_ control again, stuck in that inescapable hell.  
"Get away from me Kaede."  
The bitter laughter that always found its way into his nightmares. Then being grabbed by his chin and forced to look at _him_. He squeezed his eyes shut. _"Why won't you look at me Haru? Hmm? Are you scared of me?"_  
He was. He was terrified. 

The hand gripping his chin slipped down, and was squeezed around his throat. Just like before.  
_"Which scares you more huh Haru? Me or death?"_  
His hands were trembling, mind already starting to get hazy from the lack of air. 

Until he kicked Kaede in the nuts.  
_"You fucking–!"_  
Haruki was released and he immediately started to run, hoping the attack would give him some time as he shakily pulled out his phone to call Akihiko.  
"Haruki? Where–"  
" _He_ found me. Aki– Aki I– I can't–"  
"Where are you?!" 

"I don't know!" He was gasping for air, pushing and shoving away from everyone until he stumbled and fell. "Aki– Akihiko _he's_ gonna kill me…! I'm gonna die…!"  
"Hey, hey, calm down, I'm gonna help you, just– do you see any stores? Landmarks? I gotta find you Haruki."  
He was hyperventilating as he tried to focus his eyes, hands and knees stinging from the fall.  
"There's– there's a jewelry store, E-Eclipse– and– trees…"  
"Okay. I'm leaving right now okay? Just keep talking to me." He couldn't breathe still. Slumping against a wall, the honey blonde tried to keep himself out of sight. "Haruki?" 

"I hear dogs." He was constantly scanning the area for any sign of _him_ , but suddenly his mind was scattered. "Before– before I graduated, I had a dog."  
"Tell me about them."  
This wasn't the first time he'd had a panic attack over _him_ , far from it. Over time he'd found that the best way for him to ground himself was to talk about anything else besides what was happening, and then to keep talking. He'd discovered it with Yatake while they were living together, and of course shared it with Akihiko after the first time he'd had a panic attack in front of him.  
"She… she was a Saint Bernard."  
"The really big ones?"  
"Mhm."  
He could hear a motorcycle starting on Akihiko's end. "I can't hear you very well, but keep talking okay?"  
"She– she used to crush me under her when I'd get home from school… m-mama told me once that every day she'd sit herself down in front of the door and refuse to budge once the clock hit three… I miss her so much Aki…"

 _"Well it's your own fault you won't see her again."_  
Haruki dropped his phone, scrambling back away from _him_ until his back hit another wall.  
He was trapped behind a pair of orange eyes.  
_"Aki. Is that the guy you've been cheating on me with?"_  
He couldn't respond, wheezing as he tried to find a way out.  
_"You made me mad Haru. First you act like you hate me, and now you're cheating on me?" He_ scoffed. _"Fucking whore."_  
Haruki couldn't even form the words he wanted to say, frozen in place as he was berated. Why couldn't _he_ just let him go? Why him?  
A motorcycle. He could hear a motorcycle. 

"A– Akihiko!" Barely more than a squeak. "I'm here…!" His voice wasn't working. It always did that when he was scared. And _he_ was always the only one who heard him.  
_"Seriously? You really are hopeless Haru. You're not gonna get anyone's attention like that." He_ was sneering, like _he_ had a plan. _"You gotta say it with your chest, moron. Like this." He_ turned around, and a sense of dread immediately filled him.  
_"OI, AKI!"_ He couldn't see what was going on, his legs wouldn't move, his arms were jelly, all he could do was stare at _his_ back. _"Really? That's it? He's so lame!"_  
Akihiko. He was right there. He was right there and _he_ was laughing at him.  
_"I can't believe you cheated on me with an edgy little boy Haru! You seriously couldn't do any better than this? Or I guess he was the only one who would take someone like you?"_

"Oh," Akihiko's voice. "so you're Kaede?"  
He didn't see what happened after that, only hearing a crunching sound before _he_ stumbled backwards and Haruki ducked over to the side. That was when he saw blood starting to drip from _his_ nose - it looked bent the wrong way - and that the blonde still had his leg suspended in the air, fists clenched and drawn close to his chest.  
_"What–"_  
He saw it this time: Akihiko switched legs and swung the other one directly into _his_ side in one fluid movement. He looked… calm. Graceful even.  
Haruki pushed himself into standing, his legs trembling as he gripped the wall as much as he could for support.  
"So what was it you were saying?" Akihiko still had a leg hovering just barely above the ground, appearing ready for anything as he watched _him_ stagger forward.  
_"You fucking–"_  
This time, Akihiko grabbed _his_ arm and… threw _him. He_ went over his shoulder then face first into the pavement. Haruki _watched_ him do it and he _still_ couldn't believe it. There was a knee on _him_ , and _his_ arm was twisted behind _his_ back.  
"I'm only gonna say this once: stay away from him. If you come anywhere close to him again, not only will I beat you to a pulp myself, but I'll also call the police. Are we clear?"  
_"Go to hell."_  
"I don't like that answer." He twisted _his_ arm further out of place, and Kaede howled. "Are. We. Clear?"  
_"Yes! Fuck, let me go!"_  
Seeming satisfied, Akihiko let go and got off of _him_ , and within moments _he_ had run off.

Akihiko watched for a few moments before he seemed to suddenly become aware of the honey blonde's presence.  
"Haruki! God, are you alright?"  
His body took that moment to lose all its adrenaline, the bassist falling to his knees as Akihiko just about dragged him into his arms.  
"I– I couldn't do anything."  
"You were scared."  
"You weren't."  
"Are you kidding me? I was terrified."  
"Are you serious?" 

"Yeah. I was just more pissed off than I was scared." Akihiko smiled a little bit, and shifted to hold Haruki's face in his hands. "I was freaking out. If he'd hurt you, I don't know what…" The man trailed off, and the honey blonde realized that he was staring at his neck. It must've bruised. "... Did he do that?"  
He nodded a bit.  
"I… wouldn't look at him, so he grabbed my throat." Akihiko was silent, continuing to stare at his neck for a while until the honey blonde tightly embraced him. "He's gone. Please just let it go…"  
The blonde didn't say anything for a while, a dead fish in Haruki's arms until the bassist squeezed him tighter.  
"... Alright."


End file.
